That is so unfair! I just figured sth out. And well... you can say that I didn't expect it. But some people are clannish I guess, they'll back their own clan up no matter how wrong that person was. I can't say I really blame her. But still. At least there are people I know I can actually COUNT on. My perception of things are changing. My perception of good and evil is changing too. I don't need this right now. Especially not now. I'm beginning to wish, to wish... wish myself back to before. But I cannot go through my life again knowing exactly how everything turns out. In a way, if I go back to before, I can change a lot of things, wasted opportunities caught, mistakes undone. Yet, I wouldn't have learnt from my mistakes. The thing I cannot stand is that there isn't really anyone whom I know I can count on forever, with the exceptions of my family. There are some people who I don't think will betray me I guess... Everythings topsy-turvy. People whom I once believed would be there for me, whom I expected to grow with and to learn with... Even now, although... I still cannot think that about her, because somehow, there are two sides to everything. If I look at things from her POV, I'd understand, I guess, I did sth pretty much the same too, which led to her doing that to me, but still... I have a stronger base and not just that, while I would've thought that she would judge not only on her clan but on her own personal judgement of...
But she didn't. So it's wishful thinking. It's not that I really wish it, it didn't really affect me that much. Really. But... there's a sense of loss for an older sister.
I have a crap load of hw to do. I have misunderstandings which I never intend to clear-up. I'm not stupid and you know I'm not. I wouldn't have been as stupid as that. Sheesh. You don't understand do you? Well... it shows your knowledge. I don't see how it applies, frankly, but even as I typed what I did, i anticipated that response. Why are you so slow? I'm not affect by it and never was.
Why? Even now, i shall refuse to accept that as an answer for what you did. You proved contrary to it once, but clannishness, while it can be good, can also be bad. Oh well. you're just like me then. Surprising how the way it's used can draw or repel people to or from you.
I fight my friends' wars
baa went the sheep x 7:22 PM
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Saturday, September 17, 2005
More's the pity that I want to abandon this blog. :p
baa went the sheep x 8:51 PM
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Friday, September 16, 2005
Belated congratulations to the baobao fan club on 150 days of baoism. But today, it would be 151 days of baoism. Your passion for bao, however, can die down slightly, although i admit it's quite amusing to talk about a baotree on baoisland in baoland on planetbao during philo. We successfully wasted the whole philo lesson on one question! Congratulations to us! What surprises me is that Ms Ong herself doesn't know the answer because there is NO answer. So we can go on arguing and arguing about that question forever, and take more philo lessons. I feel proud of the second half of 113. I'm sure the 1st half didn't spend an entire lessons on 1 out of 8 questions. I'm sure no other class could either. Wheeness, we rawk! I don't want to waste next week's philo lesson though, cos we're watching shrek. Or is it shrek 2? Can't rmb. Yeah. Basically, that's about it. There is ICCS tmr. Sigh. Sigh. sigh. I gotta get up by 6 cos i need to be in sch by 7, which is retarded, cos it's before normal sch starts! What madness. Sigh... Oh well...
baa went the sheep x 6:10 PM
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Monday, September 12, 2005
For blogging's sake again, i shall whine about a fat oaf on my bed right now preventing me from sleeping. (Ignore me. I'm not usually half so weird, contrary to popular belief. Sigh I feel very 烦-ed now. I don't feel like doing my zuo wen. I shall do it tmr. I can't be bothered to find my beautiful piece of gao zhi, which is so prettily decorated with butterflies in pencil, cos i was bored and i'm sitting next to ning who butterflies everything.
baa went the sheep x 9:49 PM
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Blogging spree. okay nvm. I cannot believe my parents think i have CWO. whatever. I have 3rd lang tmr. Sigh. Oh yay i LOVE my controle 3.
baa went the sheep x 9:25 PM
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Kae... gosh... I'm so so so drained physically and mentally. Honestly, since Nats, this has been one of the most draining trainings considering all we did was 200 sets. I hate our school field terribly. It's even worse than our school track, and that's saying something. After the teeny bit of training on the field today, my ankles and knees are dead. totally dead. i knew i shouldn't be lazy and not bring my shoes, but... my school shoes are almost new! well... almost. they are ten weeks old? i think. maybe less. can't rmb. basically... new. and my old pair took me through all the turf city trainings, which is why i wanna put it in my museum, cos i was emotionally attached to it, butmy mum threw it away. She refused to let me wear it cos she said it looks horrible, just because it had 3 holes on each side, and pple will think i'm like starved or sth... cannot afford to get new shoes. Hmph! the sole was completely flat. Haha. But i rmb one particular turf city training i did with those shoes. It poured. Chloe's hanging service was started then. Oh man... I miss turf city trainings... I never thought I would say it, but some of the fondest memories I have of track took place there, though not all. Many took place at Bukit Gombak stadium too! =)
Training today was so so so crap. I prefer Fri trainings at MacRitchie infinitely, though there was a body dumped there the same day as the last we trained there. Freakyyy. I'm fairly certain that the body wasn't there yet though, cos we go to the canteen to meet and we leave our stuff there. Honestly, we're trackers, we might have sports bags, she could have given it a try. There was a cross meet that day too... So if she had just dumped the Sports bag somewhere among a lot of other bags... well... yeah. But the sports bag was dumped at Orchard MRT... Not so smart. Oh well... on sat, some weird sec 1s were staring at a bush at macritchie at a path leading to the canteen. Freaked me out like crazy la. I thought they saw/found sth... So i was like... what are you all looking at? Then they said like squirrel. Sheesh! Squirrels are so so so common? There's a whole huge family of abt 6 squirrels in RG near J Block... No need to scare me into thinking it's some kinda body/body part right. It's like... really late now. I ended up doing something else instead of blogging. I think my time was fairly well-spent though. I need to go do my zuo wen now. Sigh sigh...
baa went the sheep x 7:46 PM
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Wake Up-Hilary Duff
There's people talking
They talk about me
They know my name
They think they know everything
But they don't know anything
About me
Give me a dance floor
Give me a dj
Play me a record
Forget what they say
Cause I need to go
Need to getaway tonight
I put my makeup on a saturday night
I try and make it happen
Try to make it all right
I know I make mistakes
I'm living life day to day
It's never really easy but it's ok
Wake Up Wake Up
On a saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris maybe Tokyo
There's something going on anywhere I go
Tonight
Tonight
Yeah, tonight
The cities restless
It's all around me
People in motion
Sick of all the same routines
And they need to go
They need to get away
Tonight
I put my makeup on a saturday night
I try and make it happen
Try to make it all right
I know I make mistakes
I'm living life day to day
It's never really easy but it's ok
Wake Up Wake Up
On a saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris maybe Tokyo
There's something going on anywhere I go
Tonight
Tonight
Yeah, tonight
People all around you
Everywhere that you go
People all around you
They don't really know you
Everybody watching like it's some kind of show
Everybody's watching
They don't really know you now
(They don't really know you)
(They don't really know you)
And forever
Wake Up Wake Up
(Wake Up Wake Up)
Wake Up Wake Up
(Wake Up Wake Up)
Wake Up Wake Up
On a saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris maybe Tokyo
There's something going on anywhere I go
Wake Up Wake Up
On a saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris maybe Tokyo
There's something going on anywhere I go
Tonight
Tonight
Yeah, tonight
baa went the sheep x 7:30 PM
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
Okay, I don't really know what to say. It's just that in such times of stress (iwonderwhy) where certain people on this earth slack in peace and shake their legs and say 'Girls! I won't be giving you any holiday homework EXCEPT... -rattles of long list-', one forgets beauty.
It's just so amazing... It's so impossible to describe. I mean, we kind of forget how beautiful the world around us is, and how awesome our Creator is. Sometimes I think living the way we do in S'pore is just completely wrong. We look towards the future to much. We don't enjoy what we have today, because we're always worrying about tomorrow.
"If you don't study hard, you won't be able to get a good job!"
The thing is, will all of us be around in the tomorrow to get a good job? If we were to suddenly find out we were about to die... will we be filled with regret for the things we wanted to do but never got the opportunity to do because we had to study? It's almost the end of the one week break. Take a little time off to go enjoy the beauty of our world. The beauty of nature. Homework can wait.
baa went the sheep x 2:19 PM
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
I had CPR and CFA course today!!! So fun! There were like only 13 of us, so Mrs Anis and Ms Ong joined in too! Thank goodness they weren't in my grp though, or I'll have had to be so stiff. I mean, they are nice, but still, they're teachers, aren't they? I was in Lucy's and Nazirah's(not sure of spelling) grp. My grp so rawked la. Lucy is alr in red cross, so she knows some of the first aid stuff. Nazirah kept the whole grp alive and laughing. Among the 13 of us, we got to know each other, even if we never met each other before. I was the first to arrive, cos my dad sent me on the way to work, and he wanted to avoid ERP. I got there at 7.40, and the centre only opened at 8.15. So I sat outside happily and msged Ruixin. Thank goodness for Ruixin. I faked a few calls when suspicious looking characters came by too. Waited til about 7.50 when a 101 girl came. I don't think I asked for her name, but anyway, from then on, people arrived quite quickly. By the time it was 8.15 and the person came to open the door, there were 7/8/9 of us there alr. We had plenty of time to chit chat. Then, got friendly with Nazirah when we went to station 2 with Lucy. I pity Shi Jia. I mean, with both teachers.. Alone. Poor girl. We learnt how to do CPR. It was so amusing. It looks so easy, but it isn't actually. Nazirah was zai at it though. I mean, we need to push down 4-5 cm before the click is heard. It's kinda tiring if you need to do more than 1 cycle. The mouth to mouth thing was okay i guess. At least we get the face shield thing. Yay I shall run through the procedere to see if I remember it all.
1. Check for danger.
2. Check for response ie. Hello! Hello! Are you OK?
3. Call for help. ie. Help! Call ambulance 995!
4. Check for breathing ie. Look, listen, feel.
5. Cover Little Anne's mouth and pinch Little Anne's nose, then blow in (abt 2 secs)
6. Release Little Anne's nose for air to escape, basically, for her to exhale.
7. Repeat procedere
8. Check pulse
9. Little Anne has no pulse, so CPR is performed. Find the rib and trace it with middle finger til you reach the serrum? Sth like that.
10. Put index finger down.
11. Place heel of hand at some angle.
12. Place other hand over first hand and interlock fingers.
13. Pump down counting 1&2&3&4&5&1&2&3&4&10&1&2&3&4&15, ensure only heel of hand touches Little Anne.
14. Repeat cycle thrice.
15. Take Little Anne's pulse and breathing
16. Little Anne has a pulse but no breathing.
17. Perform rescue breathing ie. 12 breaths per minute
18. Take pulse and breathing again. =)
The choking thing is amusing too. -Person chokes-
1. Ask 'Are you choking?'
2. Person nods.
3. 'I can help!'
4. Go behind the person and position leg between person's leg for support.
5. Place middle finger on person's hip area and trace to slightly above navel.
6. Put index finger down.
7. Place clenched fist above fingers, thumb in.
8. Remove fingers and place hand over fist.
9. Get person to bend over.
10. Thrust in upward and inward motions til person coughs out item.
We had lunch after that. Went for lunch with Nazirah, Lucy, Shijia, but we brought our food back to the place to eat, where we met Alethea and the other 101-ers and... yeah. We had plenty of time to talk over lunch too. Then we experimented with the milo, coffee and tea. I drank lots of milo and lipton tea. I was nice and didn't make yucky combinations of all 3. =) -coughlucycoughnazirahcoughshimincough- Whee!
There was first aid after that which was so fun! Reef knots are cool and doughnuts rawk! My first doughnut was so prettaye. My practical test was on incision cuts, cause my 'cousin' cut herself. I was supposed to 'reassure' her, but I told her that she was a naughty girl and it was her own fault. The examiner stareted spluttering with laughter. Then, my 'cousin' started crying and said she would tell her mummy and her mummy would scold me cos I was supposed to take care of her. haha. Oh and then I asked her wy she was playing around with knifes in the first place cos she was cutting a tomato you see, then she said she was hungry... Anyway, because the crepe bandage was the wrong size, the examiner just told me to do an elevation sling thingy. Even though it is completely not required if someone cuts herself and it's breathing profusely. I temporarily forgot, but my 'cousin' helped me. =) And I forgot my Circulation, Sensation, Movement too, but fortunately, I remembered in time and started prodding Nazirah's fingers, and she obligingly moved it and said she could feel my touch. And the examiner said we both failed, but we both knew we passed, cos he was laughing. I was worried I would fail my CPR at first, cos I forgot the 'HELP! CALL AMBULANCE 995!' thing, but he didn't ask me to redo. Our examiner was nice la, basically. For the theory test, I didn't know how to do 3 questions, so I as worried I would fail, but I didn't. I got 19. I still don't know which I got wrong though, out of the 3 which I anyhow guessed. Nazirah got 17, and Lucy got 16. Exactly the passing mark. But I think they did better for CPR. Yay anyway, we ended at 4, not 5.30 like expected. So overall, I guess the course was nice and fun! Fairly useful too. In the first aid part. The CPR is err.... I'm so not gna perform Rescue breathing aka mouth-to-mouth on anyone. So yeah.
baa went the sheep x 5:58 PM
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Monday, September 05, 2005
Today was a nice day i guess. The day started off well, though i was rather sleepy, cos i had to wake up at 6.50 to beat the morning traffic. I reached school wayyy too early but nvm, since lots of pple were early too. I didn't even get a chance to read my book. I reached at about 7.35, same time as sabby. Sabby has an obsession with fats. She refused to let xinqi poke her fats because 'fats should be treated with respect'. Anyway, xinqi arrived by about 7.40. Xinqi wakes up wayy to early for her own good. On weekends and school hols, she wakes up at 6. On schooldays she wakes up at 4. How can this be healthy for an underweight 13 yr old girl? -Shakes head and sighs- Ruixin and Yunnie arrived soon after, and the 3 of us plus xinqi had plenty of fun bullying sabby. I think thashi and rachel were fairly early too. Lotsa people were complaining abt xinqi's hyper/highness when she phoned us last night. Xinqi, however, retorted that we shd be glad of the free entertainment. Lol... Poor girl, in school from 7.40-4, 5, 6??? No idea what time her PIT meeting ended. Chloe was slightly late i think. 8.05/8.10 or so. She had some weird school survey thingy at 9, sadly... Today's training was bad. I preferred Friday's infinitely. Friday's training so rocked. In the RAIN!!! rain rain rain rain rain. :) Stupid cones and bars. I detest them. Mr Tan expects our stridelength to be 1.65m? Is he mad? Increase by 15 cm at a time la. Thashi is surprisingly good at that. She puts us long d-ers to shame. She's as good as/better than the hurdlers la. After repeating that drill thingy over and over and over again for approximately an hr, we had sets! Oh yay. I think it's an hr la. Cos chloe left before we started drills. We probably took about half an hr for drills, and we started at 9, right ruixin? then by the time we finished the stupid stridelength thingy, which we probably did about 10 times, it was 10.30, and cheryl and irmelia had bio makeup. All of us kicked the stupid thing over so many times la. Xinqi, ruixin, husena, weiling, angie, newgirl and I all couldnt do it. The sec 3s were zai, as were cheryl, yunhui, chewmin and irmelia. Thashi too. We had sets, and Mr Tan wanted us to do 36-37... For long d-ers. Like... thank you! At least there was only one set. But still... one set of 6!!! And the sprinters (by this time only chew and yun) only needed to do 3. Finished after that, really giddy. What with the sun and all, I couldnt get up without the world spinning round. Same for most people I guess. Jane got a cramp and Andrea got a stitch. I think. Finished cooling down and stretching, then ruixin, yunnie and I went to the library, cos I needed to return some books. Along the way, we were talking about yunnie-tiative. Lol... Which earned Ruixin a whack from yunnie. It was so fun la. Before we knew it, 45 mins passed in the library. Yunnie and I concluded that Ruixin is lazy cos she only borrowed 3 books while Yunnie and I both borrowed 4. =)
Track on Friday at macritchie at 8. Yay yay yay yay yay. Love the trackers, hate the track. Even though I like the track too. :p The adapted version of "Love the warriors, hate the war." by Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill the Andalite. Please excuse spelling errors as i wasn't refering to the book.
baa went the sheep x 10:25 PM
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Sunday, September 04, 2005
It's raining now. I love the rain. I have an urge to run away. Run away from 'home'. Home where I can't have a second of peace. I have so many things I need and want to burn. Pity I can't start a fire in this weather. It would be very satisfying. Came across something my mum chucked at me just now. It appeared at the wrong time, wrong place. I do believe I tried to find it before, wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy earlier this year, but I couldn't find it. I open it to see words which don't mean anything, as was proof from yesterday. The worst thing is I don't know what hit me. Oh yay. Isn't ti fun? It's actua;;y quite scary now. The people on THE LIST are drastically reduced. Sad. for me i guess. It's my loss if the people on the list are drastically reduced. Thankfully, there are still many many people on the list.
Having a picnic thing at MacRitchie for cell next week. Lalalala. I'm going Macritchie friday as well as saturday. so fun. I like macritchie and I LOVE RAIN. rain rain rain rain rain rain rain. It must rain on fri morning. By the time training is over you end up thoroughly wet. Soaked from head to toe. I hate our school's PE T-shirt. Anyway, back to cell. We've just learnt two things which are SO SO SO ironical I cannot believe how good the timing is. To think that the week we started learning about... I've been trying to listen to it, I guess. But I need to learn that I'm not going to be able to survive by my own strength. Sometimes, I wonder... I really wonder. Why. I mean... there are so many bigger things in the world. So many more important things which need our attention. Yet... I wonder whether it is all a part of Satan's plan. I mean, is he trying to break apart lives and all that? The answer to that is actually quite durh. Yes. But the more important question is whether he is succeeding. "Jesus paid much too HIGH a PRICE, for us to pick and choose WHO should come, and we are the body of Christ." Are we living it? More importantly, am I living it? Wake-up call...
baa went the sheep x 2:07 PM
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