hello! friendster finally started working, received the b'dae wishes from a few pple. hahaha. my b'dae's already over though. just cut my hair by 3-4 inches... its soooo short!at least its going to be easier to wash, and its loads lighter, but it won't stay in place when i tie it. ble!!!!! i think the funny hairdresser got carried away. she cut one side, then cut the other side, since they're not equal, she cuts the longer side again. the longer side then becomes shorter, so she cuts the other side... and it goes on and on til she probab;y cut 5 inches of my hair instead, though i told her 3 inches coz i predicted that something like this would happen. when i was done, there was hair all over the floor. -laughs hysterically...- nvm okay? haha. i finally snapped out of my spell of depression 2-3 days ago. i shall make a new resolution to follow jie's example, and not get depressed anymore for a long long long long long long time. yes shinnie dearie, i will stop okay? hang out with positive pple! thats what the weird assembly woman said. i don't like her, she makes me sound as if i suffer from the stupid eating disorder. 'look at them, they are models, you can see their bones poking out. even though they are said to be hot, they may actually suffer from eating disorder. a healthy person's bmi ranges between 18.5 -23.' Like... i can see my bones poking out too? i eat a lot, so thats not my fault. my bmi is 16.5, so i'm unhealthy? hmph! fineeeeeee! i suffer from the weird eating disorder and my brain will start shrinking and i'll die. ble! how insulting...me??? not in the healthy range???ble... what'll fang yi be then with her super super low bmi? a lot lower than mine, below 15!!! oh well...i've no intention of dying anytime soon, esp of eating disorder, so too bad for whoever who wants me to die, though i don't think anyone does. if you do, tell me okay? i'll make sure you die before me. as jie said, the doctor thing is really funny. oh yeah, i wanna know, since when was b'dae spelt 'barf-day'? it sounds like a day i'm going to puke or something... so opposite from b'dae... um... napfa 2.4 next fri. i'm kind of nervous since i've never never run 6 rounds before, i've done 5 before though, and 7, when split into 4 and 3 with a break for taking fat test in between. shd be fine, i guess, what if i don't get an 'A'? I shd though, assuming my shins and ankles recover by then. off i go, i've written 2 letters todae, i'm in a letter-writing mood. shall go reply my barf-day letter. haha. bye mie deeaar bloggie!
I have concluded that i'm psychic! no, not psycho. ARGHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was just sleepy lah. mhmm. if this doesn't make sense, nvm, its just that once i told someone i was psycho when i meant psychic. =p yay! its my birthday. I've already finished my bro's strawberry cheesecake. Its only his coz its finished. It was mine while it still existed. Just ate my new cake, some tiramisu thingy.nice!wheee! my bro's not home yet, one of his friend's msged me to wish him a happy b'dae. i didn't know at first. i was trying to puzzle out who this numberless person was, wishing me a happy b'dae, then i rmbed i was using my bro's old no., and that he stole my b'dae from me! HOW EVILLLLLLL. My birthday! Sigh...At any rate, 28th April is a really impt day yeah? Have i mentioned the new dating system invented by me? I think i have. 182 days before jo's bdae and 182 days after! haha. anyway, i was supposed to be psychic, coz i guessed my entire class would forget my bdae and they did! everyone forgot. haha. but they were really nice abt it after that. And i don't rlly care! i just realised that as jie said, i sound not okay in the two very depressing entries, haha. i was depressed then though, so its not exactly surprising that i sound depressed is it? hahaha. i'm happie now though, and intend to remain happie! all my pts are gone! i don't rlly mind eois that much, i much rather have eois than pts anyhow.wonder why jie thinks i sound okay, but a little bit depressed? this is one of the times i'm really fine and one of the least dpressed times of my life. i don't bother bluffing my blog yeah? haha. bye bye! off i go to do my hw! i'm happy! rather high too. and i'm weird! i fell of the seat at the bus-stop today, leading grace[z] to conclude that she has a weird friend!
I'm actually unstressed and happily normal for the first time in a long time. Even though I do have a load of work... I don't mind doing it, and not pressure to hand it in, coz i don't care. I'm also not tired at all. The wonders of sleep. Slept 2 and a half to 3 hrs just now to make up for sleeping at 5 this morning. I was so sleepy, fell asleep while doing bio pt. Woke up again, continued and kept nodding off. Haha. Its OVERRRRR! No more peetee! Though the geog one is coming up, and um... who knows what next? Speech and drama? Lol... The philo pple fiished their peetee already. So lucky, but at least ours is not during the BOMBARD-of-peetee time. =p EOIs bext week. I'm not stressed or worried at all though. I really don't care about exams nowadays. You see, i have the more difficult challenge of staying happie and alive, and not having a breakdown. So what are exams compared to this? Haha, you're right! NOTHING! So yeah... Wheee! -eats last of birthday cake. I'll be 13 in 2 hrs. =p Laalaa dearie remembered and bothered to wish me a happie birthday. Lets see what are the many diff names I can call kristabella low. Laalaa, jiemei, bella, counsellor(i think only laalaa and i, and perhaps shinnie knows why isn't it?Do you know why shinnie?),tiffany pinkerella,... Oh yes, I just remembered, am i following you tmr? Yes i am. Don't disappear without me okay. Thats evil. And don't you dare buy me a present and make me go through the suffering all over again. Haha. No, do not get me a flower. Or i'll give you one 7 months in advance okay... haha.In case i break up with you. Hahahaha. Lol. As Grace[z] so nicely put it. =p I'm high. I just decided my b'dae cake isn't mine anymore. It can be my bro's. Since its finished. Mhmm. My mum's prob buying another cake, coz cakes are good for your health. That can be my cake since its not finished yet. =p -Jumps up and down! Boing boing! Kangaroos are really cute don't you think? Mhmm!- 1 hr and 40 mins more...
There are these times when i really don't know what to make of my life. Do i like it or do i wish it would get better? All along, i thought my life rocked. From childhood til... last year? You see, i wasn't prepared. My world was always so stable. I was a primary school GEP kid going on to secondary school. No big deal right? Wrong. Since then, my life turned topsy turvy, nothing made sense anymore. I always loved my life. I knew how good it was, it couldn't get better. A GEP kid studying in RGPS. A lot of parents would be proud to have children like that. I think mine were. Ever since i were young, from probably the start of primary school, i always wanted to go to raffles girls' school. Ahhh. Now you people see the problem. Raffles Girls' School. The most prestigious girls' secondary school in Singapore. Or should i say the most prestigious secondary school in Singapore? For we all know RGS is a way better school than RI. Most RI people are not very smart (retarded), so i don't think much of RI. Sue me. I don't mind saying that there are exceptions though. Anyway, i was really pleased to be going to RG. You see, it isn't just the most presigious sec sch in Singapore, it is my mother's secondary school, i knew i would always count it one of my failures if i didn't go to RGS. And if i don't finish secondary school in RGS, i'll always feel like a part of me isn't here anymore. Childhood dreams don't go easily. So mum and dad, if you ever read this, which i hope you don't or i'll be really freaked out, but anyway, don't ever think of taking me out of RG and putting me in MG or SCG. Coz guess what? Despite the stressful kind of life i lead, or the long hours i spend in school, although that has nothing to do with the school, but rather, the cca and 3rd lang, i feel really proud of my school, and its what pushes me on. The little amount of sleep doesn't exactly help either. 4 hrs a day kinda sucks. But i would be happy, if my work were a little more up-to-date. But one thing i really feel? Performance tasks are one of the suckiest things on earth. I hate them forever. And i hate chinese. I really really hope i don't flunk. Since i've gone to RG, my grades have really dropped. And the saddest thing is that i don't take pride in my work anymore. What happened to the Joanna Ng i used to know? The Joanna Ng who always did her work, always tried her best, even though it was never as good as Cas', it never mattered. And it really hurts to see my grades dropping, my standard of work plunging. I always cared about my work. And still do, its just that i'm too weary too do it properly. Sigh... I'm starting to hate my work, though i'll much rather love it. I used to be able to love EVERYTHING i do? Whats wrong with me? Now the part of my life i love most is church, and track. Don't you dare take that away from me. Whatever you do, leave that alone. Especially church. You have got to be joking.. Give up going to church to finish my hw? Nice try, mum and dad. Off to do my work! I feel in the mood to do my work now. I love blogging. It helps lighten my mood a lot. =p
My birthday is coming in 4 days time. You know whats sad? I almost forgot that it would be my birthday in 4 days time. I highly doubt anyone will remember that is is my birthday, and i really don't have a problem with that, because i'd much rather have no presents than get useless presents, then have to think of ways and means to remember these people's birthday and give them back presents. Or even worse, if they're birthday is already past and i gave them not presents... So yeah. But a person or two actually remembering my birthday and wishing me a happy birthday would be nice, though not an entire grp, coz i'll be maluated. I don't like unnecessary attention, never did. What i really want for my birthday is something none of you reading this can give to me. Its for me to have no more spells of depression and worry, no more problems, but blind faith and trust in God to bring me through whatever he brings me to. A few of you might know that right now things are rough. Oh i know i'm very lucky, i come from a complete family with parents who care though they may be a little unreasonable sometimes, a splendid big brother who, though a little childish, has helped me out too many times for me not to say that he's nice,(btw, he shares my birthday), and a sister who's always there to brighten up my day. Not to mention my friends, who should know who they are, so i shan't bother to say who. But there's the load of homework which is unfinishable, and lately, i haven't been able to concentrate on my work as i should be... Sometimes coz of distractions, other times coz of depression and so on... I'll be turning 13 soon. Its kind of a shock to me, i just realised that i'm only 13. I feel generations older than that, however, as Aunt Laura of the Emily of New Moon series said, that is merely proof of my youth. I think is unfair that a 13 yr old has to deal with this kind of issues, but anyway, as i greet my 13th birthday, will i change? Can i change my life around for the better? I've no idea... My parents just came home from buying me a cake. Oh well... Happy birthday Joanna.
